Non-Profit MBAs - Essay feedback on AppMentor


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AppMentors - recently accepted students
Start a project with srm! Mentor:
srm
Accepted at: Wharton
Industry Exp: Consulting, Health Services and Health Care, Non Profit, Technology
Gender: Female
Background: United States
 
Mentor Details:   *Prior to business school, had six years of work experience in management consulting and healthcare business intelligence in NY and DC. *Also have non-profit and health advocacy consulting experience *Summer internship in business development *Neuroscience/Biology major *Part of the Healthcare Management program *Volunteer Admissions Committee experience *Returning to Big Three management consulting

Start a project with David! Mentor:
David
Accepted at: Columbia GSB
Industry Exp: Government, Military, Non Profit
Gender: Male
Background: United States
 
Mentor Details:   During my work experience, I had plenty of leadership and situational management; my applications highlighted my unique skill set, while explaining my academic potential (not having worked in an particularly academic environment). I am eager to help applicants from similarly nontraditional backgrounds who have overwhelming strengths in some areas of their applications and concerns in others (often, academic scores). I am excited to help craft applicants' pitches - and to ensure that theme pervades all aspects of the application. Look forward to helping you!

Start a project with top20bschoolexpert! Mentor:
top20bschoolexpert
Accepted at: Duke Fuqua
Industry Exp: Computer Related, Consulting, Entrepreneurship, Finance, Non Profit, Private Equity, Technology, Venture Capital
Gender: Male
Background: United States
 
Mentor Details:   I'm currently a second year student at the Fuqua School of Business. I have always had a passion for helping others advance their careers, and I want to help you so you can shine among other qualified applicants. Having recently gone through the application process, I can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses and improve your chance of getting into the school of your choice! I have edited numerous essays and resumes for my friends applying to top business schools. I'd like to help you as well. I am an excellent storyteller and will do my best to help you articulate (and integrate) your stories through your essays. I have a unique mix of background in strategy consulting, venture capital, social entrepreneurship, and Internet start-up.

Start a project with Sam! Mentor:
Sam
Accepted at: Wharton
Industry Exp: Computer Related, Entrepreneurship, Government, Military, Non Profit
Gender: Male
Background: United States
 
Mentor Details:   Believe it or not, AppMentor helped me get accepted to my first choice school! Now I am on the staff to pass along to you the guidance they gave to me. In my opinion, when writing b-school essays, it is imperative one follows six key guidelines. Tell a story. Be concise. Showcase your strengths. And three other vital concepts. I will ensure your essays follow these guidelines! I have a varied background and therefore will be able to bring a unique perspective to any person's essays, but especially someone with a non-traditional career path.

I scored in the 99th percentile on the verbal section of the GMAT and I consider myself a grammar nazi. I will find every one of your grammar mistakes.

I spent 7 years as a military officer flying fighter jets. I have also worked for a small software company, for both US and foreign government non-profit sectors, and for two different technology/research organizations. I have a bachelors in Computer Engineering and a masters in International Affairs, and I lived overseas for over three years. I look forward to guiding you and critiquing your essays in your quest to attend ANY top b-school. I am here to help you get accepted!

Start a project with lgelblum! Mentor:
lgelblum
Accepted at: UC Berkeley Haas
Industry Exp: Finance, Non Profit
Gender: Female
Background: United States
 
Mentor Details:   Hello! I am in my first year at Haas School of Business pursuing a dual MBA / MPH. I am originally from the Bay Area. I studied International Economics as an undergrad and played #1 singles on Georgetown's D-1 Tennis team. At Georgetown, I was also involved in the Jewish student association and interfaith dialogue groups as well as being a peer mentor and economics TA. I love travelling and had awesome study abroad experiences in the Dominican Republic and Hungary. During college, I mainly worked in the NGO space, in roles including advocacy, research, and analysis. After college I worked at a middle-market investment bank in Miami for two years, focusing mainly on healthcare and technology. I then transferred to the company's San Francisco office and spent another 1.5 years as an Associate in technology and clean technology banking . I am now enrolled in the dual MBA / MPH program and interested in pursuing a career in biotech or global health strategy / finance.

Start a project with Anna! Mentor:
Anna
Accepted at: Wharton
Industry Exp: Consulting, Entrepreneurship, Finance, Government, Non Profit, Technology
Gender: Female
Background: United States
 
Mentor Details:   I received my MBA at Wharton in 2009. As a member of the Graduate Admissions Committee I evaluated applications and conducted interviews. I have very strong writing skills (majored in English and Political Science undergrad). Before business school I worked for a management consulting firm and a nonprofit international policy think tank. I am particularly good at helping applicants hone their story, portray their experiences in a compelling manner, and address questions that will likely arise in the minds of those on the admissions committee.